Motorcycle.
“Run.”
That was his friend’s advice.
“She’s a man. She’s a lion.
You just showed up on a white horse.
She wants a motorcycle.”He didn’t own a motorcycle.
He had never even been on a motorcycle.“I’m a mess,” she told him.
“i’m not afraid,” he told her.
You have my attention.
i know you want a motorcycle or you will think you want one for a while.
Well, i don’t have one.
But i have an unusual heart.
And you can have it if you want it.
My friend wrote this and I just found it: omg so awesome
I just want to make an entry abou this, because i think it’s a good thing!
a couple hours ago a documentary about the prison life in Norway was on TV.
it was called.. “the life behind the bars” or “the life behind the walls”
they interviewed a prisoner there who wanted to be more alone and not with the other prisoners.
he told about what happened a couple days ago…
“I was standing in my prison cell and a nurse was standing in the door opening and yelling to me “drop the razorblade! drop it now!” i was standing there with the razorblade in my hand, my arm was bleeding… i didn’t understand what i had done to myself because i was in a state of trance and that’s what you fall into. I continued with cutting myself, cutting and cutting and more blood came. the nurse continued yelling at me and told me to drop the razorblade once again. and this time i managed to drop it. i was lucky.”
after he told that he said… “what do they do to prevent me from doing this again? this is where it was done *raising his arm and showing the wrist-area coverd by a bandage* they just put on a patch, we don’t get any treatment for this. what about next time? do i get so lucky then? and what will happen when i get out of here? how will i manage to stand on my feet in the world outside.”
he was an adult, yes.. and adult. Self-Injury has no age-limits at all. i feel very sorry for him, because he don’t get the treatmeant he needs.
but think about it…
when you are depressed and you’re Self-Injuring. you feel like you’re in prison. because you lock yourself up and stays inside for days, or at least i did.
you feel like you’re not free anymore and you don’t feel like you can just go outside and meet people.
he was right, you are in a state of trance when you’re Self-Injuring… you can feel like you have a ok control over it.
but you’re cutting like a maniac in the end… you can barely stop.
NOW i realise this.
NOW i can look back and see how far into darkness i really was a couple months ago.
i can look at depressing pictures from tumblr or whatever and don’t even dare to look at them anymore.
before i can look at them and actually agree with them and then feel tempting to hurt myself again.
the truth is…
if you let the depression and Self-Injury win, you will just lock yourself up and stay in a prison cell for days.
i call a relapse a defeat. you lost your fight against yourself.
but i would never feel disappointed at anyone for losing that fight, i know how hard it is.
and i know that recovery is possible, even on your own.
